So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
