erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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