Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
