Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
