forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i need some magic done to my vagina
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
