I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize