He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
