So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You took a bar mat shot.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
