who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Bring me that man meat
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
