Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
