maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
