No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
