her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize