how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
