His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
