I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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