Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
