we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
