what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
