he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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