We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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