Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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