Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
