You just made me feel so damn special
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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