somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
