were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
