Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
