So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
