Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize