Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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