I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize