You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
