When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
