My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize