This dress was meant to end up on your floor
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
