people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
