It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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