I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
