You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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