dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Someone shit on the floor
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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