I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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