butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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