I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
