You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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