One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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