Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
