fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
