i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
