I love black thongs
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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