As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
