I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
