doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
