Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
