Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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