all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
