You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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