Whod you bang
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
