i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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