I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
did i just pee glitter
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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