Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
