After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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