apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
