Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
