Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
