You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
