Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
