Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
