my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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