sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
