How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
