Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
