Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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