soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
