Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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