Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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